Every country has its wedding traditions, even if, for many, those have merged into one big and common “Western wedding” tradition. In some countries, however, more specific cultural traditions are preserved and are dutifully followed either instead or alongside these broader Western wedding traditions. A prime example of that is China. So, whether you’re marrying someone from China or you’re just curious, let’s go over 10 interesting facts about Chinese wedding traditions below.
1. The date of the wedding isn’t random
In the West, wedding dates are usually picked based on the bride and groom’s preferences, as well as venue availability. These are also factors in China, of course, but there is more that goes into it. Traditionally, when choosing a date, Chinese couples consult with a Feng Shui expert, a fortune teller, or a Buddhist monk to help them pick a date that’s most auspicious for the good fortune of their marriage.
The couple also looks at the zodiac signs of both the bride and the groom – with the bride’s sign and birthday details usually taking prevalence – to also help them determine which date makes the most sense for them.
2. Picking up the bride from her home
Chinese weddings used to include large wedding processions to the bride’s home as the groom went to pick her up. Nowadays, such large processions aren’t feasible in the busy city life, but the groom’s journey to pick up his bride is still a key tradition.
The groom will usually be accompanied by his best men who will light up firecrackers and play drums or gongs. A child must also be present, walking beside the groom at the front of the procession, as that symbolizes the groom’s fertility.
3. The Chuangmen door games
Once the groom is at his bride’s home, he doesn’t just pick her up and take her away, however. Instead, the Chuangmen tradition is performed as a test for the groom. During these “door games,” the bridesmaids will block the door and refuse to let the groom in until he answers their questions about the bride, until he offers them some sweet, spicy, sour, and bitter treats to eat (symbolizing that he is prepared for every stage of married life), or until he passes any other personalized test the bridesmaids might have prepared.
4. Guo Da Li – the betrothal gifts
A very key tradition every groom should be aware of is Gua Da Li – the tradition of the groom presenting betrothal gifts to the bride’s family. This is a tradition many foreigners get surprised by when marrying Chinese brides, but it’s really more symbolic than anything else. Some of the betrothal gifts that are usually presented include gold jewelry, dragon and phoenix wax candles (with the dragon representing the male and the phoenix – the female), sesame seeds and tea leaves, brandy, wine, or other alcohol, and so on.
Such gifts are meant to symbolize the prosperity and the good fortune the groom is bringing into the marriage. Once the bride’s parents have accepted both the gifts and the groom’s marriage proposal, they return half of the gifts to him.
5. The wedding tea ceremony
This ceremony can be done with both sides’ families present at the same place, or it’s usually done twice with each family separately. During this ceremony, the couple will present their parents and elders with tea to express their gratitude and respect for the parents’ efforts in raising them and leading them to this point in their lives.
It’s important to know how to prepare – or at least participate in – a Chinese wedding tea ceremony, as this is one of the most symbolic and heartfelt parts of a Chinese wedding. After the parents accept the couple’s tea, the couple will be presented with red envelopes of money or gold jewelry as an official welcome into the family.
6. The wedding invitations – red, gold, and the Double Happiness symbol
Like in the West, when a wedding is announced, it’s time to send out the invitation to all family and friends the couple wishes to attend. In China, such invitations must traditionally be written with red and gold lettering, however, and be stylized with the Double Happiness symbol.
The symbolism of the Double Happiness symbol is somewhat self-explanatory – it includes two copies of the Chinese character for happiness, written side by side, usually with gold ink over red paper.
7. The wedding banquet
A Chinese wedding banquet may seem similar to a Western wedding banquet at first, but there are many rules and traditions within it that must be followed. The banquet must include eight courses, and the dishes should include only symbolic and auspicious foods such as a suckling pig (symbolizing the bride’s purity), fish (abundance), poultry (peace and unity), a lotus seed dessert (fertility), and others.
During the banquet, it’s also customary for the families to share childhood stories of the bride and groom, share photo slideshows of them as kids, and so on.
8. An Chuang – preparing the marriage bed
Preparing the couple’s bed for the wedding night is done through the An Chuang ceremony. There is a very particular procedure for performing a proper An Chuang, but the key to it is that it must be done on a specific and auspicious day before the wedding itself – typically two or three days before it.
This ties in with the choosing of the wedding date itself, as picking a date that has a suitable date for the An Chuang before it is crucial. The An Chuang is performed by the bride’s female relatives, as they prepare the bed with new red beddings and pillows, arrange fruit baskets around it, and so on.
9. Hair combing ceremony
The hair combing ritual is performed in the night right before the wedding. First, the bride and groom will shower with pomelo leaves to cleanse themselves of bad spirits. Then, they will change into new red clothes and sit down for the ceremony.
The bride must sit facing a window or a mirror, while the groom must face the inside of the house. Then, the couple’s parents will prepare red taper candles, scissors, incense, and a red yarn with cypress leaves. After that, a woman of good fortune – usually a relative of the bride – will light up the incense and candles and begin combing the hair of the bride and the groom while reciting blessings:
May the first comb bring you a long-lasting union
May the second comb bring you a harmonious union
May the third comb bring you an abundance of descendants
May the fourth comb bring you prosperity and longevity
After the woman of good fortune has combed their hair four times, she will clip their hair with the red yarn with cypress and end the ceremony.
10. Visiting the bride’s parents three days after the wedding
Finally, three days after the wedding, the last important tradition must be observed – the couple must visit the bride’s family one more time. The symbolism of this tradition is that the bride is officially transitioning into her new family and is no longer a part of her former household. Instead, on this visit and on all visits thereafter, she will be a guest in her childhood home, as she will have a new home with her husband.
Wrapping Up
There are many other more niche Chinese wedding traditions too, of course. This is especially true when looking at specific Chinese ethnic groups and parts of the country that tend to have their own rituals and traditions. So, if you’re marrying someone from China, such as one of the many fabulous Chinese mail brides Western men often chase after, it’s worth it to look at not only the broader Chinese wedding traditions but at any regional and more niche traditions present in some parts of the country.
